Naughty Little Helper- Aph RussiaBonzi Buddy
by RatchetIvanBraginsky
Summary: Ah, I've done it again. A fanfiction written at 3 am... How wonderful. To be honest, I was thinking about switching Bonzi Buddy to Shrek... Anyway, enjoy this trash. I don't really have anywhere else to upload, i should probably get a Wattpad. If you recommend some a crack ship with an aph character, i might write it. I'm out of ideas for actual fanfiction. Rated M to be safe.


Bonzi Buddy longed for a friend. He didn't mind who, as long as they were willing to be his buddy. So many people hated him because he was injected with a virus. Poor guy. It wasn't until one day, he found someone to talk to. He was a tall Russian man named Ivan with a sweet face and lots of muscle. They met online, after Ivan downloaded him. "Well! Hello there! I don't believe we've been properly introduced! I'm Bonzi." the ape greeted.  
Ivan entered his name into the box. "Nice to meet you, Ivan! Since this is the first time we have met, I'd like to tell a little about myself." Bonzi said. "I am your friend and BonziBUDDY! I have the ability to learn from you. The more we browse, search, and travel the Internet, the smarter I'll become! Not that i'm already smart!" he continued. Ivan smiled, and moved Bonzi to the corner of his screen.

Bonzi sat in the corner, watching Ivan's every move. He went through his internet history, and wasn't very intrigued. He looked up and noticed that Ivan left the computer, it was inactive. The ape continued to go through his history, mostly full of kitten pictures and Facebook.  
The man came back with several bottles of vodka. He sat down and started chugging it. Bonzi was glad his friend was back, and was ready to stalk his every move on the internet. Time flew by, and Ivan drank almost every bottle. He started to type sloppily to the point it wasn't understandable.  
Bonzi was at Ivan's aid and was willing to take over his computer and look up anything he wanted him to. The Russian slurred something and giggled. Bonzi blushed. "Do you really?" he asked, putting his hand out to the screen. Ivan decided to type it in himself, and pulled up his keywords on google images. Bonzi was mighty surprised, not knowing how drunk the man had become.  
He wasn't sure what was going on beyond screen, but it sure sounded fun. There was lots of odd moaning. The ape was rather confused, but aroused at the same time. "Ivan! What are you doing?" he asked, his whole face red. Ivan just burped and spit out a few words that Bonzi couldn't understand. Though the ape was worried, he was glad to help his new friend.  
Ivan fell asleep at his computer that night, and the machine shut off after running out of battery. When he woke up, he put it on charge. He wasn't sure about what happened last night, but it didn't really matter, in his opinion. Once his computer was fully charged, he turned it on. Bonzi noticed that he was active. "Ivan! Where did the time go? Can't you just feel us getting closer with every new day!" he exclaimed. The man smiled and rested his head on his desk.

Ivan then noticed all these weird ads coming up on his computer. "What's all this?" he asked. "It's for you!" Bonzi stated with a smile. The Russian was very disturbed. "Really, Buddy?" he asked. "Of course!" the ape said. Bonzi felt a strong connection with Ivan. It wasn't his face, no. He couldn't see his face. All he knew was that he was a really 'kinky' guy. What he didn't know, was that he was drunk off his ass. "That's very thoughtful of you." Ivan said softly. Bonzi blew a kiss in response. The man was so disturbed that he decided to get off the computer for a while, though he left it up for later use.  
Later that day, he comes back to it to check if anyone responded to his friend requests. That's when he realized he couldn't open his browser. Bonzi sat in the corner as usual. He called Ivan's name to get his attention. "It's been nice gnawing you!" he said, and waved goodbye. The computer crashed. and was thrown out the window later that day. Ivan will never forget Bonzi Buddy, because he lives in our hearts, not a computer.


End file.
